The Road not Taken...Yet

It seems an age since I blabbed on my blog. An age where I applied to PDP and failed and now have applied and am in!! YAY! Yet instead of the overwelming relief I was expecting to find, I am walking in a world of fear and unease.

Things that are worrying me:

• no paycheque for my spendy habits for a year - yuck!
• paying bills that have been hounding me forever and that will definitley not wait for me to graduate
• going out of my comfort zone (toxic as it is) to something totally new yet a place I have been before
• Starting over at the bottom - double yuck.

Crazy thing is I really wanted this and now am the person of self doubt...hmmmm, in need of psychiatric help I think so! Well luckily I only have to live this way until September and then hopefully the excitement will hit (or a mack truck) and I will be excited like everyone that is congratulating me (to all those people sorry for not jumping around in excitement yet).

Things to look forward to:

• no more chlorine!
• dealing with staff that expect me to be their parent, friend, and perfect.
• wearing clothes that are everyday wear and not having to have to dance around in a bathing suit for the public
• Seeing enough speedos to last a lifetime on bodies meant for something other than a speedo!

Phew. that's all for now!