The party

I think that I have just made a new record for the length of time one stays at a party. Lets see I arrived and left...oooooh 5 minutes later. Why you ask? Well lets just say that as parties go, I am never going to be comfortable with...the SEX PARTY!

Yup, I said it and have to say feel like blushing just thinking about it.

Picture me, the poor innocent, arriving late to a party (yes I did know what the party was going to be about) but I had no idea the comfort zone issues I would be treading on. I arrive to find everyone holding a Q-tip and remarking to each other if they are feeling the effects. Effects of what, I think, well...nipple cream of course. Not only do I sit down to have a few friends try to get me to try the junk, I have a lady beside me who is giving a demo and peep show to any who want to see how this stuff is working on her. If you are a life guard you will recognize the term "reverse and ready" that was the position I was in. (For all you non lifeguards I was pretty much in a position to drop kick anyone who came near me with their Q-tip...seriously I escaped by saying I was not feeling well, which I guess made people wary of me (go figure!)).

In the time it took for the sales lady to show tingly lip balm and explain the fun of some gel you had to rub, blow and lick (no this is not a porn movie) I was ready to say I was out of my league and ready to hit the road. Sexual Olympian I am not, so I leave you all with an idea of how fast I booked my butt out of there and hope that in the near future I am never asked to one of these parties ever again.