10 steps on how to punch yourself out!

Step 1: Wake up in the morning as your usual clumsy self and try to get ready for work

Step 2: Stuff two back packs full of stuff one for school and the other full of clothes, shampoo and workout gear for work

Step 3: Pull the drawstring to a close on your pool bag (note: you must lean in really close to the hand pulling on the string to make sure it is done right)

Step 4: Have the hand closest to your face slip off the drawstring as you pull. Maximum velocity is appreciated and needed at this moment.

Step 5: Plow your clenched fist just below your left eye.

Step 6: Wait for the incredible moment of pain you know you deserve.

Step 7: Take a deep breathe and laugh it off as another clumsy thing you have done in your life.

Step 8: Wait for the area below the eye to swell (not to worry this will happen within 2 seconds after you sock yourself!)

Step 9: Check your face in the mirror and celebrate the big swelling area around your eye! Congratulations on a job well done!

Step 10: Start to laugh and cover said eye with ice so that as you drive to work you can make up a plausible story to why you have a shiner!

Yes sad but true this is my story for the morning and still I can't get over how hard I hit myself. But one thing I did learn today (other not to get in a fight with myself ) was that I had many great friends who asked me if I had a domestic problem at home or was beaten up. Thanks for caring guys!

What a chicken!

For the past months, I have been engaged in a whirl wind of classes, teaching and stress. So much so that my wardrobe has become two sizes bigger than what I fit, my brain smaller than when I started (possibly because I am going insane) and my bank account non existent as I live off the fat of my parents (yes I do believe I am the only person in their 30s getting an allowance weekly form her father). Thanks to my parents I have survived so far as the little mooch living in their house who occasionally smiles when they see her and she crawls out from under the rock of her bedroom. Yes folks I have become a troll that only seems to come out at night. Luckily this week starts the possible end of schooling, truly one summer of courses and I am a teacher to go out and conquer in the work force (I have to say that will be yet another change in the lackadaisical life I have been leading as mooch!)

do you all feel updated..perfect! sorry it was not so exciting but hey I can now get down to the nitty gritty of this tale and I do feel your support is needed. In the past year I have been contemplating going back online to start dating. I have tried it once before with some crazy results and people of whom I have to say made me run away form that sort of thing very fast but here I am ready to give it another whirl. Has it changed in the last 8 years? I certainly hope so or whichever website I choose is going to get a really mean letter from me.

I am leaning towards E Harmony but others rave about Plenty of Fish. I know that either way, some weirdos will be out there as I found out on Christian Cafe (and it was supposed to be a christian website...sad truly sad!). So what do I do? MY PLAN:

1. sign up and fill out the questions with a friend nearby so I have to be truthful, not that I would lie but they would tell me outright if I was a bag or something (hopefully!)
2. be on the lookout for the crazies. no picture no talking, I think that's fair don't you/
3. Find a picture that is not a wedding picture or the guy searching my site is going to think I put that much time in myself twenty four seven (get real...hmmm but finding a casual good picture is still a problem...yup good time to bring in said friend)
4. create an appropriate name for my account that is not stupid like"sexy mama likes water". "barbie looking for a good time" or "cougar on the prowl"....try not to laugh this is serious business.
5. last but not least, make contact and not chicken out...

So the plan is in now is the time to implement before my sisters decide to start the site without me (yah I am on to you Niquers!). Wish me luck as in anything that I do you know strange and wonderful things will happen I was just not made for normal I guess!